Monday, February 19, 2007

Never ending wanderlust

It just doesn't stop.

Im actually considering going to work in Iraq/Kuwait/Africa or pretty much anywhere overseas that I can drum up a shitton of cash fast so I can try and curb some of this wonderlust. My buddy Damien offered me that old spot at the City that I passed up on a while back. Dammit.....I cant get tied down yet to something predictable. I need to wonder, to surf, to just find something. Maybe that something is myself. Maybe that something is the meaning of life. I know people will try and pass off some religious "meaning of life" statement, but that just does not cut it for me. I need something solid. Something real. Faith does not hold that answer for me, well at least at this point in my life.

Truth be told, I think I am in the middle of an identity crisis of no small scale. Im hopelessly lost in my mind. Who am I? What am I to do with my life? Why must I follow the path set out before me by everyone else and their ideas of what is right? Why am I so afraid to take the 'leap'? What does money really mean? Why do I feel the need to have so many materialistic things in my life? Why am I now feeling the need to rid myself of everything, clothes, furniture, and all my useless shit?

Those are a fraction of the questions I am dealing with on a day to day basis. Hopefully, I will find some answers soon.

To change the subject up a little, I went shopping with Joe on sunday to try and grab some more stuff for the trip. I bought a new smaller backpack that I like for small hikes. I got a fishingpole for trying to catch a majority of our food when we are in Mex. I grabbed a small camp shovel/pick that folds up all nice and small. I got a meat cooker thingy you lay over/in the fire to cook the meat without it falling into the fire/dirt. Last but not least, the camp chair! Joe saved me as I was reaching out for a $4.00 collapsing metal chair and told me to go for the $12.00 one. I quickly remembered all those occasions when those shitty metal chairs break a leg or support beam. The time is flying by. Im saving my cash. Im getting mentally prepared. Im getting physically prepared.

Thy time is nigh o' captain.
Guide us through the depths of the lands
Bring us safely to Neptunes gifts
And return us as we came

The idea for whatever is written above was shamelessly stolen from Queen of the Surf Pirates. Thanks Paula the Surf Mom!!!!


Bill Graber said...

Your welcome

gracefullee said...

Good luck, grasshopper. Maybe you'll find that there is no "meaning" and maybe the "meaning" is just to be happy and make others happy.

Bill Graber said...

For peace love and good waves... and to get your lawn gnome back... Please Come to my page and vote for Surf Mom For Top Momma... this ad was paid for by the Surf Mom for Top Momma peace, love and good waves committee. Thank you, and I'm out for now.