Another day in the office

Well, today was a hellacious day. I spent a good part of last night tearing into the electrical system of my car trying to find a short. I failed but i havent given up.

We decision was made today to roll our first Vista x64 machine back to xp x86. We are just having too much difficulty with autocad 2009 and its only going to get worse once the entire department adopts Vista. So we are gearing up to demote the machine back down.

I just got overwhelmed today. I questioned what im doing with my life, always running in circles. I feel that im wasting my precious time here on earth. Many people feel our time here is punishment and that the end goal is death and meeting our savious in heaven to live out our lives in eternal bliss. This does have plenty of merit with me but its not a solid foundation for me to adopt that will allow me to swallow what is considered "the hardships of life". I cant drudge on everyday in a pointless manner just to try and ignore it, biding my time until i die, get hit by a bus, or the apocalypse happens. so.... Ill do what i always do. Drink a beer and drudge on. That miraculous liquid, kept legal because it gives us faith and keeps us plugging away. If you drive drunk or act stupid, they fine you, and get what they wanted anyways. Money. The end goal.

We watched parts of a documentary today about monetary systems and how they are designed to enslave human kind. I say that agree and always have. I blame parts of my childhood for making me dependant on money. My family didnt have very much back then and i was born into a semi chaotic world of due payments and late bills. My parents did a fantastic job of hiding it but as children we pick up little things, said or not. So im afraid. Afraid of really letting go and throwing that caution to the wind. You can live without or with very little money. Enough to eat, travel, and sleep. I desire this life but im afraid to charge headlong. I look at my savings account, i now have 10K. I tell myself, wait until you have 20 before you quit. Why? Whats the point?

I took that pic while typing this post on the roof of a parking garage where i work. I often stand out here and watch "life". A little city with people, funtioning and living their lives. More often than not, there are fantastic sunset shots here on the roof. Perhaps i should start documenting them and blogging from here.