Bleh

Well Im getting close to the end of my vacations here in Mexico. Wow it feels like it just started yesterday. Im trying to recap a lot of things in my head and it just feels like a blur. I somehow feel very pissed off at myself for my level of surfing, but isn`t this trip about vacation and exploring as well? I know much more about this amazing land than I ever did before and all my pre-meditated ideas and prejudices are completely gone. I no longer have any fear whatsoever of this country. The people here are amazing, the waves are amazing and a half, and the land is so beautiful. My goals for when I return are to drastically improve my level and style of surfing and really be ready for another trip. I know what I need to work on, and I now have new goals for surfing and my life. Like the cali guy Jeremy told me in response to my telling him I surf on average of maybe 4 times a month, "Dude, if you love surfing so much, move for waves". Not everyone can do such a big move, but Im young and he does have a point. He packed his shit and moved to Mexico when everyone said he was nuts. Now he surfs by himself pretty much and lives the Mexican life, free of crowded and localized lineups. I know I could do such a thing for at least half a year no sweat but its such a major life change, possibly something Im not quite ready for.

I return in 6 days. I MUST improve my surfing. I MUST get a second job to start preparing for a huge trip in my car. I MUST buy another board, something smaller and ready to start learning some very aggressive shortboarding. I have my fish but thats different. I will return to Mexico, advanced and ready to really rip. No more kooking out in the lineups. Something tells me I really shouldnt be too hard on myself, considering I have only surfed maybe 50 times in my career as a surfer. 2 years maybe 3, averaging 10 - 20 go outs a year. Im tired of this. When there are waves, no more second guessing. Its time to start ripping.